Suicide - The New Midlife Crisis?

Watch the news and you will see the story of a young person who has committed suicide.  We believe these adolescent kids do not understand that life can get better, there are brighter days ahead, instead they are cut down in the prime of their lives.   What many call, “A permanent solution, to what is often a temporary problem.”

The idea that teens have the highest risk of suicide may not be correct.  In 2007 statistics showed the greatest rate of suicide was among those aged 45-54, and those between 55and 64 showed the largest increase from what was recorded in 2006.  This information is shocking, since it is more common to see middle age as the happiest time of life, after all they now call 50 the new 30.  Reality seems to show, however, that this time of life is actually a time of confusion, doubt and uncertainty.  

We see the realization of dreams never followed through on,  and now face a job; they are not happy with and feel life has been wasted.  Many see debt mounting as their kids head to college and retirement approaches.   In addition, many are faced with caring to aging parents, as their own mortality becomes a reality, for some men when they approach middle age, they find their bodies are not what they used to be, and feel inadequate.  The idea of retiring to the Bahamas or traveling across the world becomes less of a reality with each passing day, and depression takes over for what should have been..    

Additional theories, may also shed some light on the causes, for instance, the fact that as we age the circle of friends, we spent time with and counted on throughout our lives, slowly dwindles; we are more alone, and there seems to be nowhere to turn.  Assisting in this epidemic is the ever growing supply of drugs to help the pain that often comes with aging, which can lead to either intentional or unintentional overdoses.     

With so much emphasis on the treatment of teenagers and younger adults and their risk of suicide, these older Americans are being overlooked.   The chances of suicide and how the act may be carried out can depend on whether you are male or female.  It is well known that women are more likely to seek help and to consider or attempt suicide, with the hope of someone noticing their cry for help.  Men, on the other hand, prefer to keep their depression to themselves and find counsel in their own way, often drinking heavily and turning to guns to ensure their attempt is successful. 

Birthday's and Depression

Many people find birthday's depressing - I for one have never put much stock in them - age is but a number. You are only as old as you tell yourself you are!!

I had planned a string of posts this week, life has finally slowed to an almost manageable pace and I am finding time to write. Finally!

Ah, the best laid plans as they say. My old friend depression came to visit Monday and I’ve had the week from hell! It began Monday with the heartbreaking realization that it had been 2 years since my brother-in-law passed away. The sadness, though not really spoken was evident. My girls went about their day, but I knew what was on their minds and in their hearts. They missed their Uncle Todd.

We got through Monday, Tuesday the sun was shining and we were ready to start again. I spent some time at our new house, setting up my “office” and enjoying the quiet. The evening was quiet, I have been tired lately – but chalked it up to some mild depression. The quiet, however, would not last and my world would turn upside down.

Wednesday morning, my alarm went off and I turned on the TV to watch the news before I woke my girls up. Amidst the usual political crap was the report of a 17 yo killed in a car accident Tuesday night? Since it was in the area I hoped it was no one we knew. It went to the back of my mind and the morning went on. My youngest was off to school; my 17yo was not feeling well and stayed in bed. As I prepared to call the school about her absence I heard a most horrible scream from her room………….’No, you’re lying.” I knew at that moment, the girl mentioned on the news was her best friend. “J.C.’ was gone.

Since then the days have been a whirlwind of tears, candlelight vigils, and a trip to the accident site with 15 kids. Questions we can’t answer. As co-president of the girl’s soccer club, our phones and email have been going non-stop. Getting jersey's, gathering our girls, etc.

The death of this young girl sent me into yet another tailspin. I cried for her life, for the girl I knew. I cried for my daughters and their friends for the loss. I cried for lives cut short – I wasn’t sure I would make it through, my tears flowed with them – as I held many of these girls as they cried, hit walls, collapsed in exhaustion and unexplainable sorrow. My own anger hurt was taken out on others and with my pillow as I wanted nothing more than to sleep.

My friend depression returned to me once more – only it was for a different reason, I no longer felt my birthday was important. You see 2 years ago, my brother-in-law passed away 5 days before my 40th birthday, the funeral being 2 days before. We celebrated with the numerous cakes, pies and food we still had piled up. This year, 3 days before my birthday, we lost a wonderful young girl. The next couple days will be spent with the soccer team and how we will help them. We have already retired her jersey, the girls have many ideas. The funeral is Sunday; I can’t even imagine what that evening will be like. In the midst of it, my birthday is tomorrow.

We will also be moving to our new house. My daughter’s new bedroom was going to be painted by her and “J.C.” The mere idea now is heartbreaking.

In my heart I know we will be OK, my ever present depression will pass and our memories will bring us peace in time.

I just wish………..