Taking the Positive Road to Wellness

The biggest obstacle when it comes to mental illness is often times staying positive.  How can you be positive when each day seems  like an uphill battle instead  of a pleasant experience?  The answer may not be easy, but it is possible

20 years ago when I received my diagnosis, I believed I could handle it. How ever, it took many years to be at a place where I could understand what the doctor's told me.  I'll be honest I still don't always listen, but I have a better understanding of what I need to do and how to stay well. 

The same mind that turned on me is the one that helps to keep me on the path to wellness.   Staying positive despite the symptoms that come with mental illness  but it is possible.  

1.  Surround yourself with people who are willing to listen to you, stand by you and lift up when you are down.  Hearing their positive words are difficult at times, but it's just what we need.  Don't push them away, no matter how much you want to, they are the ones who care and in time their words will make sense. 
2. Make time for yourself.  This one is  hard, as often we feel alone and the last thing we want is to be alone on purpose, but this is different.  Taking time for yourself, is doing what you want for yourself.  Forget about the world for awhile, find what makes you happy or what used to and do it.  You may have to push yourself at first, or even the first five times, but keep going.  The feeling of worth will come and boost your mood and confidence. 
3. Write! I can not express this one enough.  You do not need to be a famous novelist, or perfect with your handwriting and language, this is only for you.  Putting your thoughts on paper, helps clear your brain of all that clutters it up and brings us down. If you fear someone reading what you write, use a computer program that requires a password.  It is OK to be selfish at times. 
4. Get outside.  Yes, another big step!  Nature is one of the best anti-depressants there is.  In our 24/7 world, we do not get outside enough.  The demands of our lives, families and work take us away from what we need most.  Going for a walk a couple times a week will help you relax and clear your mind.  I used to walk quite often and looked forward to the freedom, but life took over and I stopped.  I saw the difference.  I am back now to hiking and the peace that comes with it is welcome. 
5. Go easy on yourself.   Easier said that done, I know.  We blame ourselves for this illness we live with, but it's not our fault. We didn't wish this on ourselves, like any illness some get it, some don't.  Society does not make it easy, the stigma keeps us quiet and hidden, it's not our fault.  Don't let their words take hold.  
6. Smile!  Even when you seem to have forgotten how to, smile.  It may feel fake, but do it everyday.
7. To me, the most important of all - Music!  Put on your headphones or turn up the radio and play your favorite songs and lose yourself in the melody, the lyrics.  Music has a power like no other, use it!

By taking care of ourselves  we have a much better chance of a positive life and once we have that, the sky is the limit.

Do you believe in God's power?

Image by Trader Doc...( active Photo stream..LOL) via Flickr

How many of you believe in God giving us the knowledge we are going to need to help others?

I have a strong faith; I wouldn’t be where I am in this world with it. Things happen though that makes me wonder and make believe He does have plans for us.

Wednesday morning when I saw the brief news report of the car crash where a 17yo girl was killed I right away thought of my daughter’s friend. There is no reason for me to think of her, there is no reason to even suspect it. The name was not announced, only the minimal details. The thought bothered me, but the morning went on and I tried to put it out of my mind.

Then the call came, my thoughts were right – it was her. Amidst the sorrow and tears, I was totally taken back by the knowledge I was given. In talking with one of the guidance counselors, I shared with her the events of the morning – she told me, “God was preparing you for what was to come.”

Why was I entrusted with this? Why was I given this knowledge beforehand? It is an amazing amount of faith given to me by God – to watch over His children at this most difficult time in their lives.

The Uncertainty of Life - The Mind Struggles

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An addition to what I posted earlier today - I attended the viewing of my friend's mom's funeral this evening. We have all created such a bond, being there for each other is a comfort. Then I came home and checked my email - the news sent me into a downward spiral - I could only sit and cry. Another friend of ours, lost her husband in a car accident Friday night. The viewing will be Friday night. I am at the end of my rope right now, I did not have the time to call my doctor today - tomorrow I will be on the phone first thing. I can not take much more. Continue reading below for today's original post.

I received the news late Sunday night, a friend’s mom passed away suddenly – only a day after attending her grandson’s graduation.

For those of us who knew her, it is difficult to accept just knowing she will not be around. She was a large part of our high school years; we were looking forward to sharing a band reunion with her in August. Instead, we will spend time remembering our “second mom,” her devotion to us “impossible teenagers.”

When I checked the newspaper for the obituary, I discovered another friend’s father had passed away, what affected me about this one was – yet another person I knew had lost a loved one.

Since October 2006, I have attended 8 viewings/funerals. It began with my brother-in-law in October 2006, at the young age of 31 passed away suddenly after a stroke. Two months later, I took my daughter and her friends to the viewing/funeral of a friend of theirs who had been killed in a car accident the day after Christmas. In May of 2007, I attended the viewing of a friend’s mom, the next day attending a viewing of a friend from high school (the same day attending the Baptism of my nephew, who was named after my brother-in-law) Fast forward to 2008, attending the viewing/funeral of a friend’s dad in March, a viewing of my youngest daughter’s friend’s dad only 2 weeks ago, now will attend two viewings this week.

Personally I have had enough! I understand it is a process of life, it is God’s plan for us to stay on this earth for only a short time, but I’m tired. Maybe it’s the realization that I am getting “older,” and fragility of life is becoming more evident. When my oldest daughter became engaged last week, then gradated from high school last night it hit me that time has passed by so quickly and with each day the uncertainty of life becomes more of a reality.

I believe it is a mental challenge right now, as well as a faith challenge. Trying to understand God’s hand in all this and doing my best to trust that this all part of a greater plan for all of us. In the midst of that, I struggle to keep my mind focused – instead I simply want to sit and hide from the world. I contemplated calling my doctor this morning, asking for a refill of my anxiety meds – but have yet to dial the phone. Do I need to rely on the meds? I am tired enough right now, physically and mentally – the meds would only make me more tired, not sure how that would help. I have fought so hard to maintain my illness with minimal medication, I take only 2 now – the third for anxiety I try to avoid, but at times like these I wonder if I am doing more harm than good. I know the reality of this illness; I’ve been down this road too many times.

When I attend the viewing tonight I know the emotions will get the best of me, and the next couple days are sure to be a challenge. Will I call my doctor? Probably – though I want to fight this on my own, I am a realist and know that I need it sometimes – the alternative is not an option.

Disability - to apply or not to apply?

For anyone faced with this decision it is one that will drive you crazy. I have had doctors tell me for the last 10 years or so that I should apply for disability. My Bipolar does play havoc with me and can make the working world difficult, too many stories to go along with that one.

Well, with my psychiatrists help I took the plunge and put in my paperwork. Well, it was an experience to say the least, and in the end it was denied because........

I have not worked enough to qualify for disability!! OK, explain this one to me - I am going for disability because I am not able to work - but because I am not able to work I can not get disability.

Will we ever understand the mindset of the government? Probably not.

So, what do I do now? Well, I continue writing - it is my passion. I also work with a friend who understands my illness and works with me. If I am having a bad day, no problem, it's OK. I make phone calls and do some computer work for their business.

Can you relate?

Good Riddance Day

I wish I had known about this last month, it is a great idea and one that I hope will catch on to become an annual tradition. (At the end of this post I have included the video by Green Day entitled, "Good Riddance (The time of your life)"



Every year as New Year's approaches, conversations turn to what we will do better next year, what new habits will be started and the hope that we will forget mistakes we've made. In New York City, the answer has been found. The Times Square Alliance, held an event on New Year's Eve called, Good Riddance Day. The idea is for people to shred a list of their bad memories or mistakes that occurred during 2007, getting rid of old baggage and be ready to start with a clean slate in 2008.

What better place than Time Square to start fresh?

A Beginning

What was, what is to come. I can’t imagine where I was a year ago, two years ago, 10 years ago. My life, life in itself was a crisis - not even sure I would make it through the next, but I did and here I am today. I am stronger and healthier with more hope and promise than I’ve ever had before. New Year’s is different now, I’ve felt the change coming on. I’ve never been one to the take age into account for anything, we are who we are no matter what. Though part of me still believes that and there is part of me that probably always will, I’m beginning and starting to feel old. I’m feeling like I’m part of a real world, the real world. I’m not hiding anymore in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist. In a world that I created for myself over the years. In that world I’m alone, I’m afraid. I exist merely to be a presence but not anything real. In my world, this world I created I kept myself where I could not possibly be available to anyone, let alone myself. In 7 months, 4 days, 15 hours and 25 mins I will be 40 years old. It’s a mile stone I guess you could say - it is a point in my life that I’m not sure I ever thought I’d see. I realized that I have a life, that I’m real and that I’m alive. This sudden realization that I am alive is amazing, the hard part is not being able to share it with anyone. At least no one here, they wouldn’t understand. It’s something that people who have not experienced true fear and pain in their lives, experienced abuse, being treated as nothing more than a being - not really a person, could understand. To feel really live is something that brings a new meaning to life. I can’t really explain it - but those who know, will know what I mean. A new year, new faith, new strength, a new heart to hear a new life and the promise of tomorrow.